why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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