I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
