It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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