butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
