Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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