Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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