I hate all girls vehemently.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
