Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
