At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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