I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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