So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
