well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
