If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
