omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize