susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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