RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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