he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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