The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
