Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
