she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
