DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
