i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
