i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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