Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
