i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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