As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
