Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
