Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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