So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
