i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
