If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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