why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
