that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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