i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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