i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fuck appropriateness.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
