I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
