Me too!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
