Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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