he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
