I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
