I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
