How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
