She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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