i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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