They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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