20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
