dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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