I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
