You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
