Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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