ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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