The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
