I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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