If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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