but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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