wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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