Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
