WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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