Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
