Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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