WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
