I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
